Blundering Working Mom?

After three years of being a stay-at-home mom, I interviewed for a job today. Originally, I had sent out a crapload of resumes in a sudden fit of panic when hubby's work was getting few and far between. When we started having decide on things like, should we get groceries or pay the mortgage, I thought it might be a good time to get back in the work force. So I applied at various winery tasting rooms that were looking for weekend or evening help, so I could still stay home with Zane. I still have a mental block about sending him to daycare. I know, I know, gajillions of moms send their kids to daycare, it's good social time, blah blah blah. I don't even have a compelling reason to not want to send him to daycare, I just can't seem to do it.

Anyways, sent out a bunch of resumes, and lo and behold, husband's job is all of a sudden reliable again. Guaranteed-working-five-days-a-week for the next year reliable. And I get a call back from a winery. They need a weekend person in their tasting room. I have experience working in a winery tasting room, and I loved it. Loved the wine, loved the people, loved everything about it. So, I thought, well why not? It may be good for me. Get me out of the house for a couple days a week. Plus, hello, employee discount on some nice wine. Hell, I'd probably just work for the wine in and of itself.

I go to the interview and ace it. Really connected with the girl interviewing me, love the winery, just have a good feeling about it. But there's a problem. They want me to work weekends and one weekday. Being neurotic, over-protective parents who practically run background checks on anyone who watches their kid, family or not, we're kind of short on babysitters who could watch Zane one set day a week. The mother-in-law may be retiring soon, but she's been saying that for months. The other people who usually watch him are moving to another state, have weekday jobs, or have newborn babies. So...that's one problem.

Another problem is the job requirements themselves. I wouldn't be a simple, tasting room position like I thought. It would be managing the tasting room and planning events. I could handle the management part, it's the event planning that scares me. When it comes to customer service, I can charm most anyone, but planning? Good Lord. I didn't even plan my own wedding. Just showed up on the date. True story. I was pleasantly surprised when I got the invitation to my own wedding. I'm good at helping someone who's planning. I'm good at being given tasks and completing them competently. But having all the pieces pull together and fall into place as a lovely little olive oil and tapenade tasting in some park? That just seems so foreign and overwhelming to me. My husband loves the idea of my challenging myself. He thinks I'm selling myself short and would probably do just fine. I mean, look at how Zane's birthday party went! But I'm thinking there's a pretty big gap between a winery event and a two year-old's birthday party. Not to mention, he seems to forget the part where the the ice-cream cake was rock hard, causing us to break three knives trying to slice it, eventually sending the children home without any cake.

So...I don't know. I'm torn. Maybe the stress and travel will be too much, I'll fail miserably, and find myself being even more impatient with my family than I am now because they keep interrupting me while I'm trying to research caterers. Or maybe I am selling myself short and this is a great oppurtunity that will grow into something more, I'll discover a hidden talent in myself for putting together elegant yet fun events, and the time away from my family will make me appreciate them all the more during the week.

I just keep thinking of last week when my friend handed me two types of flowers to cut and put in a vase, and when I was done, she said, "Um...wow...that's quite a flower arrangement."